Boring conversations are made by people who are afraid to take risks.

In your conversations, always take chances and say things which aren’t conventional. MyBirthdayPony has a great post on his blog about this. Here’s the post, with my comments:

“Oh, I’m a realtor.”
“Oh really? Tell me about that.”
“Oh well, blah blah blah.”
“Oh really? That’s so interesting, it must be so rewarding to show people houses. You’re like a personal little friend that the house hunters can have.”

What I’d really like to say:
“You know what, I don’t care about your boring job.”

In my last post, I mentioned that everyone is equally amazing in their own unique ways. That may sound like something your grandma would say, like, “Okay, Grandma. Thanks for the tip.” But try not to think about it like that.

So what happens when you meet someone, she’s hot, the conversation goes on, but you just find the conversation kinda boring? It’s not her, it’s you. Always keep in mind that you are responsible for the level of connection that is made between you and someone else. Everyone is amazing, it’s your job to get it out of her. But how? How, how, how?

Spirit Fingers: This is so true. If you think that girls are boring, it’s not them that’s the problem. All girls are interesting, you just have to know how to bring it out of them.

You are using “I” perspective, you are vacuuming, relating, rewarding, but the interaction still seems like a dull poo? If you are bored, that obviously means there is no REAL genuine interest.

Spirit Fingers: Again, genuine interest is the foundation of attainability. You HAVE to have a sincere, genuine interest in the girl in order for her to be attracted to you.

This is all about having fun, showing that you are not scared to do and say whatever. Whenever I am in an interaction with a girl, one of my mindsets is, “I want to see how fun this girl is. I am going to bring out her ‘aura’.” From there, I take some dangerous chances in the interaction. What Juggler means by that, is do things out of the ordinary. It’s easy for me since I have ADHD, I’m just a quirky guy.

Just yesterday I was school shopping for my little sister with my parents at Target. Like I said, I have ADHD and up to this day I still wander off by myself around the store. I see two cute girls in my headlights looking at some ugly polkadot bag. What do I say? What do I do? Okay MBP, take some time to think this through.

So I took a few seconds of thought: Lose the agenda. You WANT to show who you are. Day game=Focus opener. I did all that in like 10 seconds! I calibrated myself. I go up and say, “No, don’t get that. Trust me, it’s just not cool.” They laughed at that for an unusually long time. I go, “Okay, let’s start shopping.”

Spirit Fingers: You see how the conversational risk paid off? By taking a conversational risk like this, he got an instadate right after his opener. Not only this, but even if the girl didn’t react well to the open, the problem could be fixed with high value attainability technique. So it’s really not a risk at all, just something that requires a little bit of balls.

As I’m walking with them, I was using all of the things I learned, blah blah blah. I just noticed that I was bored, and it was actually making me want to put in LESS EFFORT than I had before. Then I realized, “If I am bored, it means that I’m not having fun. Okay then, let me have fun.”

So then I said to the girl pushing the cart, “Alright, I’ll bet you can’t push me on this bad boy, what do you think?” She goes, “Jump on!” I squeeze my butt on, and immediately the interaction changed from normal to nutty. I tried to get her to go for a spin, but she wouldn’t have any of it. She had a big tush though, so I wasn’t offended.

Spirit Fingers: Again, these types of risks are key to keep things interesting. If you continually try to take the “safe” route in interactions, that is the surest way to ensure social failure. Disdain the “path of safety,” because it actually offers no safety. Go for the path of nuttiness and jumping in shopping carts instead.

This opened up the interaction to places I never thought they could go. I started to see sides of them that I wouldn’t regularly see. That’s when I became GENUINELY interested in these girls.

If you are not having fun, that means there’s no genuine interest, there’s no genuine interest if you haven’t made her comfortable enough to be her fun self so you can actually be interested. You haven’t made her comfortable enough because you aren’t taking any dangerous chances.

Let’s try it again:
“Oh, I’m a realtor.”
“Really? Wow that’s totally cool. I could never do that because I’d try to have sex with the client in those houses… anything crazy like that ever happen to you?”
“Ahh! I found a dead person in the basement while showing a house once!”
“What happened?”
“I just played it off like it was the grandpa sleeping.”
“You’re dangerous! I think I need to keep you around.”

Get crazy in your interactions, say crazy shit. “I like sandwiches.” Boom, what?! Who says that? That may not be your personality, but that’s mine. Find what you do to set yourself apart from others, and use that. Be SO MUCH yourself that it’s oozing from your fucking pores. Don’t be scared to be an ass. Have fun.

Spirit Fingers: See how much better this is than before! This is how your conversations should go.