You know what you’re supposed to do after you have sex with a girl, and want to see her again. Call her again within a day or two, get her to meet up again, and have sex with her 2-4 more times until she’s converted into one of your girlfriends.

But keep in mind, this game has two players. What is the girl trying to do to you?

Mainly, girls with good game will be trying to get you to pursue them further. Guys may sometimes misinterpret this as disinterest on the girl’s part, but really she’s just running her game. She’s worried that you won’t stick around for the long term, that she was a too easy to lay, etc. so she’s now trying to scramble for compliance to get you to stick around.

Don’t worry when you see these behaviors — realize that most of the time, she’s just trying to make sure that you stay in her life in the long term, because she likes you.

Here’s a question from a girl that emailed me about a guy that she slept with who she’d like to see again. It’s a good insight into a girl’s thought process, and how she’ll try to game you after you hook up.

Hi Spirit fingers,

I think I got laid by a tremendously expert PUA. I had the most awesome time and want to be with him again.

Some questions for you if you don’t mind answering them….(I love PUAs and I think that it is fun to play this game, as a woman though, I am unsure about my role.)

1. We met because he answered an ad I put up on Craigslist, is this an acceptable way to find women for PUAs?

2. I have not heard from him and I have not called him, I did send him an email a day after we spent the night (a forward I got) and I just wrote like a few words and my ending was “Call me” I do not believe it was desperate sounding. Do you think that he thinks that I am a slut?, and, is it part of the game to not call?

I was a slut and I enjoyed every minute of the night, but now does this mean that because I slept with him on the first date that he is done with me? Should I expect to not hear from him and if you believe that will be the case, I understand why. I just need info.

I am confused about the whole thing. I asked Dolly when she thought I should contact him and she suggested five days and then a casual email.

Love and Light,
M.

Hey, congratulations on meeting a great guy. Here’s my advice:

It’s possible that the guy was a PUA; some guys in the community meet girls online. Either way though, you should play this the same if you want to see this guy again. In either case, he’s probably thinking the same way.

Here’s a little insight into his thought process: in his logical, goal-oriented mind, he wants to sleep with a lot of girls and not settle down. He’s figured this out for himself, and this is what all his friends say that he should want. Plus, he’s always had girls pushing to be in relationships, so why should he put a lot of effort in once he’s slept with a girl? It’s definitely possible to get him though; you just have to play it right.

It is true that you don’t want to appear too eager for a relationship, but you also want to stay in the forefront of his mind if you’d like to see him again. If you just disappear, he probably won’t put any effort into contacting you or remembering you.

I would stay away from emailing him, and here’s why: you want him to emotionally remember the good time you had with him, and email isn’t very conducive to that. With email, he can read it, think about it, think about what he “should” do, and most likely not respond. It’s similar to a girl getting an email from a guy she wants to sleep with, but thinks she “shouldn’t.” She can easily delete the email, but once you hear his voice on the phone and he gets you laughing and feeling good emotions, the temptation to see him again becomes much stronger.

Here’s my advice as to what you should do: give him a call, but don’t try to get him to meet up with you. Call him, and have a light, friendly conversation. Keep it fairly short, let him remember what a good time he had with you, and then say you have to go. Don’t say call me, or maybe we should meet up later, or try to put any obligations of any kind on him.

The purpose of this call is to get him to remember what a good time he had, and to get him to ask you to meet up later. If you play your cards right, there’s a very good chance that he will.

If he doesn’t call you back in 4-5 days and ask you to meet up, repeat the process. Call him again, have a fun conversation, but don’t ask him to meet up. In fact, I would only ask him to meet up after you’ve called 4-5 times and he still doesn’t ask. Realize though, that this is a last ditch effort — if he wants to meet up, he’ll probably ask you. The key is to keep him pursuing you, the moment you start pursuing him is when he’ll start getting defensive against a relationship.

Don’t focus on trying to get him to meet up, as this isn’t your real goal. Your real goal is to get him to feel permanent attraction to you that will make him want to see you again. Take care of this, and the logistics of seeing him again will take care of themselves.

Of course, there’s always a chance that even if you play your cards exactly right, he just won’t be interested in contacting you again. If that’s the case, it sucks, but you’ll be able to learn from your mistakes. Think about what you might of done wrong that made him not want to see you again, and try not to repeat that with guys in the future. Your “game” will improve because of it, and you’ll be able to attract even sexier guys in the future.

Good luck,

Dan