Originally posted by Goldenlion on The Sexual Forums

I’ve been going out with my current girlfriend for nearly 4 months now. I love her very much & the sex has been fantastic until about 3 weeks ago. I found that I was doing most, if not all of the pleasing when we make love. She just lays there and I do all the tricks, giving her lots of orgasms etc… which isn’t fair.

So i stopped putting in 100% effort, and without that there is no passion what so ever. She just lays there like normal and says “whats wrong” or whatever. So it kills the moment.

ANYWAY my main problem at the moment is; She’s one horny lass, she has two vibrators, one small, and another is a rabbit. Which I’m cool with, I even used them on her once while we had sex, which was cool.

But now she wants this new double rabbit, which stimulates the clit, anus and vagina at the same time. This alone doesn’t bother me, just the fact that its an inch bigger then I am does.

Im 7″ and I’m pretty big girth wise as well. Her old rabbit is 6″ and not as big around but i still don’t really dig the idea of these toys. Now she wants so super ultra thing, which can do more then i can and its bigger then me.

We were talking about her old rabbit, I thought it was bigger then i am, she told me it wasn’t, I’m bigger around and in length. Assuring me, so i didn’t freak out. Which was all true.

She then spoke of a new one she wants to get, and left out how big it was, so i went home and checked it out to find its an inch more. This really hurts my confidence and I’m not quite sure how to go about it. She’s just left to Italy for 3 weeks so i wont be seeing her for a while. Like our sex hasn’t been too good recently and now she’s after a new toy. Chances are they most definitely aren’t related but it still hurts inside

What should I do ? Got any advice or words to calm me down because I’m freaking out right now!

Thanks!

Also, am i reacting to bad to this ? Like shouldn’t I be worried ?

Really could do with some advice.

Thanks again!

So let me get this straight. You’re jealous…of a vibrator?

You’ve got two separate problems my friend. First, you need to get your girl to be more active in bed, for your own pleasure and for hers. Second, you’ve got this vibrator thing.

Now, the second problem is NOT causing the first! While women may like vibrators and dildos to play with while they are by themselves, they cannot compare to real, actual sex. You say that the new rabbit makes you insecure because it’s one inch bigger than you, but if you really think about this, you’ll realize that this is ridiculous.

What if a girl came up to you and told you that she felt really bad and insecure about her boyfriend jerking off? After all, he could probably squeeze his cock WAY tighter than her pussy feels…so why would he need her? What if he went away for a week for some reason…would that mean that he’s taking that time to enjoy the superior tightness of his hand at her expense?

Of course, if you heard this you would probably laugh, because it’s ridiculous. First of all, even though you could squeeze your cock way tighter than a pussy feels, why would you want to? You would just hurt yourself. Second, jerking off can never compare to sex. Remember the First Principle Of Sexuality — that of Psychological over Physical. The psychological element of sex is what is really exciting, and masturbation can never provide that.

If you told a girl about your problem, I guarantee she would laugh as well. Masturbation can never compare to sex for girls either, no matter what kind of toys they use. Yes, toys can provide perfect physical stimulation — they can be the exact shape she prefers, and stimulate her at the exact pressure and speed she prefers for the exact amount of time. However, this is relatively unimportant. What makes sex amazing is not the physical element, it is the psychological element. A toy will never be able to kiss her, or talk dirty to her, or make her emotional, or dominate her. It will never be able to act out fantasies or make sex feel different every time. Because of this, she will always need you. You don’t have anything to worry about — she’s not going to elope with her new rabbit.

As far as the size thing goes — again, you are focused too much on the physical element of sex. For men, you can squeeze your dick tighter than any pussy could with your hand, but yet the sensations from masturbation and being inside a girl who’s dripping wet for you are absolutely incomparable. For women, it’s the same thing. Even though her vibrator is twelve inches long and has eighteen settings and can stimulate her in six ways at the same time, it will never be able to compare the the sensations of a hard cock inside her.

To cure this limiting belief, use the method for eliminating limiting sexual beliefs that I lay out in The Sex God Method.

You also need to deal with the problem of her not putting in enough effort in bed. This is very common, and there are two main causes.

First, the sex is bad and she isn’t participating because she’s not into it. This is not your problem — you say the sex is fantastic and you’re giving her lots of orgasms.

The second cause for this is that the woman likes the sex, but she isn’t sure how to please you or is too shy to take any initiative, so she instead lets you initiate everything. It sounds like this is what’s happening to you.

If this is the case, she should be eager to please you if you just show her how. Guide her gently but confidently through what you want her to do. For example, if you want her to go down on you, position her by your penis and tell her “put my cock in your mouth baby.” If you want her to talk dirty in bed to you, ask her if she likes getting fucked by your hard cock. Tell her to scream for you when she comes — you’ll find with a little instruction, she’ll be glad to let go of her inhibitions. Ask her what her sexual fantasies are while you’re fucking her. You get the idea.

With time, she’ll need less and less instruction and guidance. Eventually, she will be able to take the initiative on her own to please you.

Good luck, and I’m sure that if you do these things you’ll be back to having fantastic sex in no time.

You should take three things away from this article:

1. A sex toy can never replace real sex. Sex is all about psychological stimulation, not physical stimulation. A girl won’t prefer her vibrator to you if you have mastered Dominance, Emotion, Variety, and Immersion because a toy can never provide these things.

2. Penis size is rarely the problem, almost all the time male insecurity about penis size is. If you’re wondering if you’re big enough for her, chances are overwhelmingly high that you are. Remember that the length of your penis does not determine how good you are in bed. Your sexual skills and ability to provide her with Dominance, Emotion, Variety, and Immersion are what really matters to her.

3. If your girl isn’t active enough in bed, it isn’t necessarily because she isn’t sexually attracted to you. The sex can be great, and some girls still will not be very active because they do not know what to do, or they are shy, or they think that women should be passive in bed, or whatever. Show her what you want her to do, and guide her through doing it. Eventually she’ll learn to take initiative and do things to please you on her own.

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