QUESTION FROM A READER:

Hi Dan,

I saw you speak at a lair meeting not too long ago, and I’ve gotta say that I learned a ton from your presentation.

I have a question on sex that I thought you could answer. You briefly talked about dirty talk, emotional talk, and combining the two during the presentation. Could you explain a little more about sexy things to say in bed, and how to start if you’ve never done it? I’m 33 and never been very vocal in bed, and I’m finding that I’m having a hard time starting.

Thanks a bunch Dan, and I look forward to reading your book.

D.H.

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Glad you enjoyed my presentation, and thanks for the email.

What you say while you’re in bed is a very important, and I wish I had more time to talk about it at the lair meeting. Bedroom talk is a fundamental piece of my system, so it’s important that you understand and use it if you want to achieve sexual mastery.

Why is what you say in bed so important? Remember, the First Principle of Sexuality, which states that how you excite a woman psychologically is more important than how you excite her physically. Bedroom talk enhances sex by directly providing this psychological stimulation.

When you have mastered bedroom talk, you’ll be able to turn your girlfriend on and make her want sex just by speaking in her ear. While you’re having sex with her, you’ll able to make the sex many times better with just a few words.

Obviously, bedroom talk is very powerful and shouldn’t be ignored.

The first and most important element of dirty talk is your tonality. It should be deep and dominant, like that of a hypnotist. It should be passionate, yet controlled. Your control over your voice is important - it is very dominant and a huge turn on for woman to be deliriously senseless with pleasure, while you maintain absolute control

This is more difficult than it sounds, because the natural instinct when you are very aroused is to lose control of your voice. With practice though, you will be able to maintain control of your voice even during the most powerful orgasm.

Once you’ve mastered your bedroom tonality, you should begin to actively work on your dirty talk. Dirty talk is basically anything that makes sex better by making her feel more dominated.

In The Sex God Method, I don’t supply you with many specific canned dirty talk lines to use in bed. Every situation is different, and the exact words you say are not important as long as your dirty talk is along the right lines.

Instead, what I do is supply you with four themes to concentrate your dirty talk around, and examples of how to use each theme.

For example, one theme to concentrate your dirty talk around is possession. Although no woman will tell you this, at times they all want to be treated like an object in the bedroom. Not all the time, but sometimes (this is where variety comes in - too much of a good thing can be a bad thing).

There are many ways you can arouse your woman with the possession theme in bed. When you’re fucking her, don’t just call her a slut or a whore. This can be good, but it’s much more effective if you say “you’re my slut,” or “you’re my whore.” The added theme of possession enhances any dirty name that you might want to call her.

While you’re fucking her and she’s extremely turned on, start talking dirty in her each about how she belongs to you. Tell her “you’re all mine, your pussy belongs to me” as you’re fucking her so hard she’s helpless to respond. Make her look in your eyes and say that she’s all yours as you make her cum. This is priceless - her orgasm will be much more intense if you can dominate her like this.

These are just a few things you can do - the Method includes many more techniques for arousing her with possession and the other three Variety themes.

Now dirty talk is great, but it’s not the only type of talking that you should be doing in bed. In addition to talking dirty to turn her on with Dominance, you should also be using emotional talk to turn her on with the second dimension in the DEVI system, emotion.

Sex is the most intensely emotional act we are capable of, and heightened emotions always make for better sex. The interesting this is, it does not matter what kind of emotion it is that she’s feeling - it just matters that the emotion is strong.

Mostly I will use positive emotions (love, connection, closeness, etc.) to emotionally arouse a girl. Occasionally though, I will also use negative emotions. You have to be careful with these though; if you use negative emotions in the wrong way in the bedroom it will make her insecure and unable to fully let herself go during sex. However, when used in the right way these negative emotions will enhance sex just as much as positive ones.

There are three main themes you should concentrate your emotional talk around to establish positive emotions of connection. In addition to this, you can make sex better by verbally teasing a woman, temporarily giving her negative emotions of being deprived so that you can later gratify her.

You should do both emotional and dirty talk in bed - both are effective by themselves, but they are even more effective when combined. Talking to her dirty one time you have sex, and emotionally the next will make both sexual experiences better.

The best though, is when you can combine both dirty talk and emotional talk by doing them both simultaneously.

Here is one way to do this: say something dirty to her while manhandling her (a physical way to increase dominance). Then, immediately follow it up with something emotional.

For example, when she is having sex with you and about to have an orgasm:

Girl: Dan, you can’t make me cum -that’s bad

Dan: Shut up (spanks her hard, manhandles her legs apart and starts fucking her harder)

Dan: I love my baby! I would never hurt my baby (keeps talking emotionally like this to her through her orgasm).

As you can see, the rules of logic decidedly do not apply in bedroom talk. When she is very aroused, she will not be thinking logically about whether what you are saying makes sense - she will only know that you are fulfilling both her need for Dominance and Emotion at the same time. Although this type of talk is full of logical contradictions, it is the most effective way of talking to a girl in bed.

Now this is great, but how do you start talking dirty in bed if you’ve never done it before?

Start when she is very aroused, preferably when she is near orgasm. When she is turned on enough, she won’t object to anything you say. Start with moderately dirty and emotional talk (you’re a dirty little girl, I care about you so much, etc.)

If you’ve never talked in this way before, you’ll have this irrational fear that she’ll just sit bolt upright in the middle of her orgasm and say “No, I am not a dirty little girl!” After you’ve done dirty and emotional talk for a while though, you’ll realize how ridiculous this is. Remember, get her aroused enough and she won’t object to anything.

Once you’ve done dirty talk when she’s really aroused, you can start working it into sex earlier and earlier. After a while, you’ll be able to talk dirty and emotionally even before you start having sex with a girl. And you won’t be restricted to the mild stuff that you have to use at first either, as your relationship with the girl progresses, you’ll be able to do heavier stuff which isn’t appropriate at first. This stuff will really take your sex life to the next level.

The Sex God Method contains much more details about dirty talk, emotional talk, and other sexy things to say in bed. You’ll learn about the four themes of dirty talk, the three themes of emotional talk, and how exactly to arouse her with each theme. And, you’ll get real life examples of bedroom talk in action.

-Dan

The Sex God Method Book

The Sexual Confidence Bootcamp Website

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