QUESTION FROM A READER:

Hey Dan,

A quick question for you: Does size matter?

I don’t consider myself bad in bed, but sometimes I feel that I could use a few extra inches. After all, a bigger dick can hit spots that a smaller dick just can’t. I think that a big part of “sexual mastery” is to have a big dick, so what can guys who aren’t so well endowed do to compare to bigger guys?

K.C.

MY RESPONSE:

Does size matter? Yes and no, but mostly no.

There’s myths out there that larger cocks provide better physical stimulation (”hit spots that a smaller dick can’t). This simply isn’t true.

Think about the vibrators and dildos that are sold for women to masturbate with. The vast majority of dildos that are sold are between five and six inches, with proportional girth — the size of an average penis. The twelve inch monster cocks are relegated to the joke section.

You can see then, that a bigger dick doesn’t provide any extra physical stimulation. Otherwise, women would choose larger sized sex toys.

However, having a big cock does have value because it provides the girl with extra psychological stimulation (Dominance). That is, a girl feels more dominated when she is fucked by a larger cock than by a smaller one. And this is good if you’re well endowed, because Dominance is one of the four dimensions of great sex.

But — the amount of Dominance a large cock provides is insignificant compared to the amount of Dominance you can provide in other ways. Dirty talk, manhandling, orgasm control — all of these things far overshadow penis size in determining how dominant you are in bed.

So then, why is penis size such a frequent insecurity among men? The reason is that it is a vicious cycle among guys who don’t get laid very much. Their only sexual outlet is internet porn, which almost always features guys with freakishly large cocks. Seeing that size is the measure of your worth in the porn world, they begin to think that size is the measure of your worth in the real world too. This causes them to become insecure about their merely average sized penis.

When they do have sex with a girl, their insecurities ruin their Immersion. That is, they start to think and worry in bed, instead of just enjoying the experience and being in the moment. This makes them perform poorly in bed.

But, they don’t recognize that the reason why they are performing poorly is because of their insecurities caused by this limiting belief. Instead, they take their sexual failure as evidence that their beliefs about penis size are true.

They then go back and masturbate to porn that stars guys with even bigger dicks, and the vicious cycle continues.

Don’t get caught in this cycle. If you haven’t been performing as well as you’d like in bed, recognize that this is caused by your insecurities, not your penis size.

Now, I recognize that eliminating a deep-set limiting belief like this is not as simple as simply knowing that it isn’t true on a logical level. You have to debunk the limiting belief on a deep, emotional level in order to eliminate its hold on you.

That’s why in The Sex God Method, I give a definitive strategy for overcoming this and five other prevalent limiting beliefs which hold you back from achieving your full potential in bed. You’ll learn what beliefs are harming you in bed, and exactly how to put them to rest.

-Dan

The Sex God Method Book

The Sexual Confidence Bootcamp Website

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