Courtney over at Tynan’s Angels has a new article up which illustrates exactly how much great sex affects a girl. When the sex with bad, she only wants to be friends and is reluctant to even see him. When the sex becomes great, she can’t get enough of him and is devastated when he moves away for another girl.

While the guy she writes about had his sexual stuff down, he could have done much better in managing expectations for the relationships. Courtney got hurt because her guy lied to her, a common mistake in open relationships. Flat, outright lies will always come back to haunt you. There are many ways to establish a strong emotional connection in a relationship, while still making it clear that you’re seeing other girls. My condolences to Courtney, and hopefully she’ll find guys who are equally as sexually skilled but more honest to her in the future.
Check out her story here:

I’m hurt. I’m feeling the kind of angry pain that only betrayal can bring. I’ve felt this only twice before. The first was my first love, a painful ordeal that I may one day share with you. The second was earlier this year from a friend turned lover turned nemesis. Well, the second is at it again. He’s found love and happiness and it isn’t with me.

I discovered, through a mutual friend, that he was moving to New York City for a girl he’d only recently met. I think - no, I know I could’ve handled it had he been moving there for a job, but it was for another girl! You see, he’d put my heart in a blender earlier this year and didn’t seem to think twice about the garbage he’d fed to me while doing so.

I’d known him for many years before we’d ever had sex. I had never been attracted to him, and to be honest, I wasn’t when I had sex with him on my friend’s couch. (I was living on her couch at the time because my lease was up and I only had a few weeks before I left for Spain). I thought the sex was bad and that he was too hairy, so when I took him back to his car we exchanged friendly hugs and I thought that was the end of that. I assumed that we’d continue to be friends but sex would never happen again.

Quite some time later I returned from Spain and was staying at my mom’s house for a few weeks until I could move back to Austin. He had promised to take me out and fill me with “good ol’ Texas beer” when I got back to the states. I was bored, so I called him up. We made plans to meet up, but when the time drew near, I wanted to cancel. Did I really want to go down the road of hairy, bad sex again? Well, it’d been a while since I’d seen a circumsized penis, so I thought, “What the hell?”

That night I experienced the best sex I’d ever had in my life! I couldn’t get enough of him. I made him do it over and over again until he physically couldn’t. Over the course of the next few months he came to visit me in Austin, and I to Houston. He met my mother and all of my friends, and I met met all of those close to him. We spoke every day and had pictures of each other everywhere; everyone thought we were a couple, and I began to want that to be true.

It’s very difficult for me to make myself vulnerable to someone else by opening up. I’ve always been the ambivalet, tough girl and now I was going to have to put myself out there and tell him what I really wanted from him. It was hard, but I did it. What he told me didn’t hurt so much as disappoint. He said he only wanted a lover because he needed to focus on his career, but that I was as close to perfect that he’d found and if he were to go down that road again, I’d be his first choice. At the time, I was naive and heartsick enough to believe him. We’d been close for years, why would he lie?

As time passed, I began to forget about the hole that he’d left. It wasn’t until I called my friend one friday that I was reminded about the whole situation. He informed me that Mr. X was moving to New York. As my friend talked about him, it began to sound like he was talking into a tin can and I couln’t hear him over the rushing in my head. I’d been transported back to the pain and anger I’d felt a few months earlier. How dare that bastard wreak such havoc in my life then happily go on with his? How could he care about someone else when he’s obviously cared so little about me? What was that shit about me being perfect? Why the lies?

You may be wondering what you’re supposed to gain from this story. Well, here it is: don’t lie. It sounds so simple, but it’s something that many people have a hard time practicing, one of those easier said than done kind of things. You don’t want to be with someone? No one can blame you for that. Some people just don’t belong together, but you need to tell the other person plainly and truthfully. Don’t make some floral speech and use smoke and mirrors. It’s not necessary. People can deal with you not wanting them because sometimes we change, it was never there to begin with, or whatever the case may be. But always be truthful, because to lie is to betray and that is a wound that does not easily heal.