If you want to become good at sex or creating sexual attraction, it’s essential that you have the skills to actively excel. In bed, you have to learn how to give her powerful orgasms, to blow her mind, to make her scream. To seduce her, you need to know how to convey sexual value fast, to touch her and physically escalate at the right time, and to lead her smoothly back to your bedroom.

Obviously, actively doing good things is important in sex and seduction. But what is equally important is the ability to not fuck things up. In too many cases, a guy develops good sex or seduction skills, but loses everything he gains with those skills because he hasn’t mastered the fine art of not fucking things up.

Let me explain. One of my former students was very good at displaying sexual value. He could approach a girl confidently, show Dominance effortlessly, make her feel strong emotions, etc. He could escalate smoothly and generally knew what he was doing. But yet, he didn’t get laid nearly as much as you would think he would.

Why was this? Although he had developed some sick skills, he could never recognize when he had done enough. He always felt that he had to demonstrate more sexual value to always be advancing his cause somehow. He didn’t recognize that in some situations, for all practical purposes he had already won the game. All he had to do was relax, act normal, and not fuck anything up.

But for a guy who’d been trained to seduce seduce seduce, this was sometimes too much for him. Too often he would get a girl attracted to him, and turn her off by being way to eager to fill normal gaps in conversation. He would appear tryhard when he kept seducing the girl, when she had already been seduced. All he had to do was to act normal and lead her back to his place.

In seduction, this is very important. Recognize that you do not have to seduce in every situation. Sometimes, the best thing to do is to just act normal and not fuck anything up. This is not to say that you don’t need to know how to demonstrate sexual value, just that there are some situations where you will not actively have to do anything to get the girl. All you have to do is recognize when you have her, relax, and coast it out.

When I told him this, he kind of looked at me weird. Like “there’s no way it can be that simple.” But sometimes, it is. When he starting just relaxing when he had the girl way into him and just taking care of logistics, his results started getting much better.

In sex, sometimes it is the same way. And in some ways, when you have learned sexual mastery, the temptation to excel even when you don’t have to is even stronger. Realize for a woman to be sexually attracted to you, you don’t always have to be a brilliant sexual genius. This can sometimes be very hard…especially when you know that you are a brilliant sexual genius.

Most of the time, women will not take the initiative towards giving the two of you a great sex life. They will be very responsive if you do the right things, and can be taught to give you incredible pleasure if you know how. Usually though, you will have to actively be doing things to produce those amazing orgasms for you and her.

But sometimes, you will not actively have to do anything. There are occasionally girls that will take the initiative in improving your sex life. For example, some girls will take the initiative in Variety by actively introducing new, exciting things into your sex life. Some girls will help your Dominance before you even ask them to by talking dirty to you.

Some guys think that they should squash any initiative their girl takes in bed, because it’s bad for their Dominance. Nothing could be further from the truth. If a girl is doing what you want before you even ask her to, what could be more Dominant?

In these situations, where the girl starts actively working for you in bed, all you have to do is not fuck it up. If you just relax, enjoy it, and go with the flow, the sex will automatically be great.

Will it happen this way all the time, or even most of the time? No. But when it does, remember: no matter how good you are at actively doing things to improve your sex life, there are times where actively doing things is not the answer. Sometimes, all you have to do is sit back, relax, and practice the fine art of not fucking things up.