QUESTION FROM A READER:

Dan-

I absolutely loved the teleconference the other day. I learned a ton, and I thought you handled all the questions extremely well.

The interactive stuff that you did I also thought was great. I signed up for the Boston bootcamp because I want to be able to do stuff like that. I’m excited to meet you — I know that it’ll be tough for me to do practice doing things that I’ve never done before, but judging from the corrections you made on the call, it’ll do a ton towards improving my sex life.

I bought your book about a week ago. I haven’t even finished it yet, and I’m already seeing the results from it. From being, frankly, a terrible lay, I’ve progressed a lot and can now easily give girls orgasms.

Here is my question: what is the right amount of foreplay to do with a girl? Sometimes it seems like I should do a ton, like an hour, and sometimes it seems like the girl is ready to go almost right away.

Thanks Dan, AND KEEP DOING TELECONFERENCES!

R.J.

MY RESPONSE:

Thanks RJ. I really enjoyed the teleconference myself, and I’m definitely going to keep doing them in the future. Congratulations on your success thusfar, and I look forward to seeing you at the bootcamp.

And if you’d like to practice essential Sexual Confidence skills through fun but intense exercises, so that they’re PERFECTED when you use them for the first time in a real life situation, check out:

The Sexual Confidence Bootcamp

Now, onto your question:

What is the right amount of foreplay? Really, there is no right amount — you should never have a set goal of doing foreplay for x minutes every time before you start having sex.

Instead, adjust the amount of foreplay you use to the specific situation.

The most important thing to remember with foreplay is Variety. That is, you never want to get stuck in a rut doing the same amount of foreplay all the time. Do an hour of foreplay one time…then do almost none the next. Then do half an hour the next time…and so forth. Never make the amount of foreplay you do predictable — always mix it up and keep it interesting.

Now — don’t make the novice mistake of *always* doing very little foreplay! Make sure the girl is very turned on by the time you penetrate her. But by the same token, don’t drag out foreplay for hours, thinking that you’re a Sex God because you can do endless finger-stimulation. This is just boring, and will chafe her. Do different amounts of foreplay every time, and she’ll love you for it.

Another thing to remember about foreplay is that fingering and oral sex are the easiest (though not the best) ways to give girls orgasms. If you’re having trouble making her cum, then extend your foreplay to give yourself enough time to make her cum before intercourse. Once you can do that, you can start doing less foreplay every now and then, and focus on making her cum through penetration.

I give some physical guidelines for making a girl orgasm in my book, The Sex God Method. There are three main principles you should keep in mind.

The first is that of Physical Specificity. The psychological elements of sex that turn women on (Dominance, Emotion, Variety, and Immersion) are universal. However, all women differ in exactly what type of physical stimulation they prefer. There is no one “right” physical technique to use on every woman. So, rather than giving one magic pill oral sex technique, I give you a variety of techniques to experiment with. Try all of these techniques, and see which one she likes the best. And, don’t forget to be combine this physical technique with dirty talk, eye contact, etc. to stimulate her psychologically at the same time.

Finally, remember that the main function of foreplay is to increase Immersion for both you and your girl. If either of you is not completely comfortable or relaxed, do a lot of foreplay so that you can get there. If you are having classic symptoms of Immersion problems (lack of stamina or poor erection) increasing the amount of foreplay you do is one of the techniques I recommend to solve these problems.

Now…almost every guy has a ton of questions on sex that he wishes that he could have answered. How much foreplay should I do? How long should sex last? How do I know if she came? How should I talk to a girl in bed?

And guess what: if you’re not sure of the answers to these questions, you wear your confusion and uncertainty on your face. You think that nobody knows that you don’t really know what you’re doing in bed, but actually it’s blatantly obvious to everyone you meet. The way you move, the way you talk, the way you look at people…it all reflects your lack of Sexual Confidence.

I can peg a guy who is not good in bed from a mile away, just by looking at him and hearing him talk for about 10 seconds. Girls are even better at making this snap judgment. According to my girlfriend Rachelle, this snap judgment is usually made within 5 seconds.

Do you know what you’re doing in bed…do you know the answers to all of these questions? If not, you’re not passing womens’ five second Sexual Confidence evaluation. You’re blown out of the water before you even really start talking to her.

If this is your situation, you need to do something about it. Get your ass into one of my Sexual Confidence Bootcamps. Through intense (but fun) Sexual Confidence exercises with my lovely assistants, you’ll lose your sexual fears and uncertainties…and know what you’re doing in bed by the end of the day. You’ll have Sexual Confidence.

Check out this excerpt from a review from one of my VIP Bootcamp students:

I signed up for the bootcamp around a month ago, and I was a fucking wreck when I did.

Things changed quickly. I met Dan for about three nights; I met his girlfriend, one of his best friends, and one of his mentors all in the same bootcamp. And what did I learn?

I learned how to man up. I learned that it’s okay to be 80, 90 pounds overweight. That you can still can still get people if you have the confidence of being an actual dude. I learned that I made the right decision.

What Dan’s imprinted me with will stay with me forever. Dan — things have changed, and when you read this, these positive changes is all because of you, man. Thank you so much.

J.U., Boston

I’ve said it before: I’m in this business the change lives. Not to deliver a mildly interesting product, or distribute some information, or to deliver boring lectures. To change your fucking life.

If you’d like a drastic improvement in your Sexual Confidence, check out my bootcamp. It could be the best decision you’ve ever made.

The Sexual Confidence Bootcamp