You Must Look Good to Get Laid

Dimitri just came out with a new post with some fashion and image tips. The title is a little provacative, but you need to understand what he means by it.

Many people who are “good looking” are not genetically so. They just have a strong image, sense of fashion, put work into being healthy, and have a strong presence. People think “good-looking” is something objectively determined at birth, when it’s not. Your perceptions of how good someone looks are dramatically affected by their game.

For example, take Woodhaven. When I first met him, I immediately pegged him as a good looking guy (especially in contrast to what Dimitri looked like at the time). And for about a year, I took it as a matter of fact that his looks were a big contributing factor to him getting laid.

But then I took as step back. I thought, take away his designer clothes and expensive hairstyle, his presence and the fact that I frequently see him with different hot women, and he’s just a regular guy. Skinny, and slightly below average height. But you would never know it, because his game distorts your mental image of him.

Dimitri is another interesting case of how your looks affect how much you get laid. He hints at how he made some fasion improvements in his post, but I’m going to be a little more graphic with it. When I first met Dimitri, he looked horrible. He was wearing a dirty jean jacket over jeans and a t-shirt the Salvation Army would be embarassed to sell. But when he started talking, he just took over the room. His sense of fashion was so bad that even his game couldn’t distort you into thinking he looked good. But once he started talking, it didn’t matter.

Today, he looks a thousand times better. He put some effort into improving his look, and it’s paid off big time. His knowledge of fashion is so formidable that he teaches the fashion section of the workshops now.

But the question is…how much does all this really matter? After all, he got laid before he looked good. I’ve talked to him, and he’s said that he does hook up with more and higher quality women than a year ago. But, this was probably also due to improvements in his game that he’s made since then. Do looks really matter?

The answer is, they do matter, but not that much. I’d say they’re 5-10% of the game, depending on the girl. But, it’s still worth putting in effort to improve your looks. It’s something easy that you can do. Once you make yourself look good, it takes minimal effort to maintain that look, and your game gets a significant boost. Especially for new guys, it makes the early stages of the game much easier.

With that in mind, check out this post by Dimitri on improving your look:

You must look good to get laid. This is a true statement, though one I myself rebelled against for a long, long time. And perhaps I was proof that it wasn’t true - I’d put up 50 lays before I ever started to employ and sense of fashion or style, and I was out of shape as often as not.

You could even ask Jay, who runs the site, what he thinks of how I used to dress and groom myself. He’s a good guy, but what he’d say about how I used to dress, I imagine, isn’t all that flattering.

Why do you need to look good to get laid? The answer is simple - it’s a reflection on your character, and what internally drives you. I am now, completely and totally certain that any money you invest reasonably into looking better will more than come back to you. The returns on dressing better - even in just a professional context - are immense. Not to mention your social life.

One thing you’ll notice, is that the vast majority of guys getting some look good. They’re not “good looking” but they look good. Take Neil for example.

Neil’s often cited as another example of why you don’t need to be great looking to get laid. 5′6, balding, whatever. The thing is - Neil looks good. He’s not “clasically good looking”, but he looks good. Elegant, classy, well-groomed.

The value in looking good is not simply that you look good - althought there’s something to that.

The real value comes from your character. If you’re poorly dressed, in poor shape, what does that say about you? Does it say you care about yourself? Does it say you like to enjoy life? Does it say you matter to yourself, and to others?

And that’s when it hit me - Even with my terrible dress, and mediocre grooming, I “looked good” even years ago before I really got it together. Not as good as I could, but every time I’d gotten a girl, I’d looked good.

Funny, it was a lot more random back then. If I’d win a competition, I’d be beaming and I’d get some. And it would spiral - if a girl got interested in me, a lot of other girls would follow suit.

So some quick tips to start looking good:

*Shoulders back and broad. Even as you read this, push your shoulders back and out.
*Chest in, stomach out. Follows naturally after your shoulders are back and broad.
*Chin up - Your nose should actually be pointed upwards a bit.
*Smile!

Those are the first four pieces of advice I can give you. The next few will take a bit longer to start implementing:

*Wear your clothes a lot smaller. Very, very, very, very few people can justify wearing an American sized-large. I’m almost six foot tall, 170 lbs., and my favorite shirt is an extra-small. I usually wear smalls, and very, very rarely medium.
*Get your teeth white - Crest Whitening Strips will be the best $40 you’ve ever spent. Whitening tooth paste and floss go a long way too. Also, if you don’t really like toothpaste (who does?) think about picking up the new vanilla-flavored toothpastes coming out. They making brushing your teeth feel like eating candy. “Glide” floss also tastes and feels 3,000 times better than that horrible green stringy shit we grew up with.

And more:

*If you’re on a budget or just don’t like spending ridiculous amounts on clothes, flip through GQ, Cargo, etc., whenever they come out. Then look for stuff that looks like what you see. It takes about six months to a year to get a really good eye for it, but once you do you can walk into TJ Max and put an outfit together that looks good for $50-100 tops.
*It’s better to have one killer outfit than six mediocre ones. Remember this.
*You will, subconsciously, base items around your watch. Whatever watch you get, you will buy clothes to match. Strange but true. Most watches from the mid to high end become all pretty decent. On the low end, allow to recommend Fossil, Guess, Diesel, and Skagen.

And yet more:

*Sharp touches go a long way. Matching your shoes/belt/watch might seem to be silly, and other people won’t really notice. But you’ll look “put together” for some reason. The time it takes you to do that might let you meet one more quality girl a year, or get you one more promotion every five years. Over the course of your life, that’s dozens of lovers and potentially hundreds of thousands of dollars. And in fact, the higher you are, the more these small edges will stack up for you.

*Getting a good haircut is well worth it. I remember having a friend who was an attorney. He got his hair done weekly, to the tune of $50 a visit. I said to him that he’s crazy! He said to me, “Sebastian, if I get one extra client a year because I get my hair done, it evens out.” And that still doesn’t factor the benefit to his social life - he got laid a lot, by the way.

*Want long hair? Go into a nice place and say, “I’m going to grow my hair long. Can you give me a base cut that will look good as it grows in?” It’s that simple. And if your hair starts to irritate you, just tough it out for a couple weeks. It gets better.

*If you have a beard, trim that sucker. Do something with it. Electric razors give you the most control.

*Get interesting socks.

When you take time and groom yourself well, you’re saying that you care about how you look, you’re ambitious, and you go after things. This is very valuable to women, and also in your professional life. When I teach, my goal is not to have guys just get laid more - but to communicate better, and I especially love when people get more professional success.

Looking good isn’t about pleasing others. It’s about showing you take care of yourself, care about yourself, are ambitious and like to feel good.

Lots of good little ways to look a bit better. Add your own to this thread.

-S

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  1. woodhaven said on June 28, 2006 at 10:25 pm

    Hold the phone. My haircut is NOT expensive… just really tight ;)

  2. FoundingFather said on June 29, 2006 at 12:45 am

    Just a minor note.. does Dimitri mean Chest OUT, Stomach IN? Maybe a typo…

    Great post!

  3. loop said on June 29, 2006 at 4:15 am

    offtopic: plz do more line-height - its very difficult to read - i think about 1.6em; @line-height would be good

  4. Feellex said on October 19, 2006 at 9:14 am

    Dye your hair! :)

    If you’ve been thinking about colouring your hair for a while then do it!

    I procrastinated about this for a long time and after reading the Game something clicked in my head and I decided on an image change. I coloured my hair blonde. This helped my inner game confidence because I FELT like a new person and it also attracted a lot of attention from women who knew me before and asked me about it or commented on it and it’s an amusing, light (pardon the pun) conversation topic.

    Now some guys think it might look gay. I say “so what!” I know I’m not gay and if women think I’m gay initially they will drop their defences when they are talking with me. Later I’ll prove to them I’m not gay through actions not words :)

    Thanks for all the support and info. God bless you all! :)

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